"yesterday I traveled by bus to my bf. it’s a long way, about 40min ride. I don’t like it but what can I do?
but yesterday, bacause of some demonstrations, my bus had to take a detour road. that’s how I stocked in the traffic. my road was 30minutes longer than it used to be. the bus jerked all the way, driven 10 meters and then stop. the traffic was huge. I started to feel sick, my head nearly exploded and I felt like I could vomit my stomach and brain at the same time.
I wanted to scream. shout. yell.
I wanted to shout at all people around, at all ppl in cars, at ppl in the bus, at ppl on the street. at everyone.
without a reason. just because I was angry.
but even if inside I was so angry, outside I stayed calm and impassive.
because I knew that it’s not proper to stand up and scream. even if I barely could hold my rage. it wasn’t proper.
maybe it’s the border between being normal or insane. when you’re not acting proper people could think you’re crazy. how many people in that bus holded their emotions? how many people at the street don’t do what they feel because it’s not proper. how many times you acted proper but you didn’t felt like that?
just a random thought that came up to my head. sorry, I don’t want it to sounds like a pseudo-philosophical bullshit. hope it doesn’t :I (I know it does..)
idk. in fact I can’t even scream. but I wish I could. scream and throw out all my rage.”
cerber by Fukari